movie mahem and madness

So on Friday night Nic and I and a friend of the family decided to go and see Fast & Furious 6.  We were ready, clutching our Slush Puppy and popcorn and then .... after a long and annoying booking process (we bought snacks, then tickets), during which I had to use 4 different machines to do the booking (who says technology makes our lives faster) ... I find out there were only 2 seats available .... and seperate.  

So we decided on Iron Man 3 in 3D as the guys wanted to see it.  I was not that keen but based on the fact that it is getting rave reviews and my sussie loved it, we booked.  What a surprise!!! I LOVED EVERY MINUTE!! The 3D effects were incredible and I think I now need to find Iron Man 1 and 2 to see what happened previously. Yes there was the bit when the Iron Man ran and a flippen train came out of nowhere and hit him and all bits came rushing towards us in 3D and yes I got a huge fright and yes did swing my arm out and grab my son and yes it was a badly aimed grab and yes his eyes watered and yes I was sorry. 

Less than fun was the woman sitting next to me whose laugh resembled a naying horse and who had the weird habit of laughing, randomly, in the most unfunny parts.  Then she also had brought along a packet of "slap chips" which she opened soon after sitting.  So the air around me now reeked of salt and vinegar whilst she munched through these, occasionally wiping her fingers off on the material of the seats.  Great.  The crumbling up of the packet afterwards was also fabulous.  Five mins later came the follow up packet of who knows what which she had ... looked like a large slice of cake.  More crumbling. 

At this stage person 1 and 2 sitting behind us (whose voice slurring indicated that they had had the odd guava juice prior to the movie) decided that he and she now both needed to go to the loo.  Much head kicking and seat kicking ensued from behind us both when they went out and when they returned.  They also found it necessary to tell us all how much better they felt.  Thanks, my life would have been so empty had I not known. 

Of course the movie was sold out and when we got there 5 youngsters were in our seats.  I ask to see their tickets.  They replied they don't have to produce them to me "am I the usher?" .... go figure.  Ushers in movies went out about 20 yrs before they were born.  Nothing I love more than a youngster with a slick mouth and shitty attitude.  So I ask a little less nicely, now I see the squirming and so I say "get out of our seats and go wherever you should be" .... more deafness .... I raised the volume somewhat and a guy 2 rows back gets up and shouts "move or should I help you".  They moved, to the front row, where their actual seats were. 

And then as a highlight, the guy 2 seats from me felt he had to check his phone with the big ass screen every 2 mins.  Obviously he must have been a Neurosurgeon on call, as he checked his FB regularly in case someone paged him through there for an emergency.  Jeez, sad if you can't sit through a movie without your phone. 

So now this coming Friday we off to see F & F 6, so please everyone else going ..... sit in YOUR seats, eat only snacks sold AT the movie theatre, do all your whatsapp, twitter, fb, banking, instagram etc etc BEFORE you sit down, go to the LOO as a family, eat, drink and be merry, but not around me unless it is a normal drink, popcorn or such.

And most of all .... if you want to talk ALL the time .... do me a favour ... go out for coffee instead. 

till next time
c'est la vie xxx