c'est la vie

Each year a group of bloggers circulates a questionnaire around this time, intended to be answered by bloggers on Google and other forums, telling a bit about themselves.  This year’s one is loosely based on questions from a magazine.  I received mine last week ... so here goes If there was one thing you could change about your life, what would it be - Trusting people too easily What makes you angry - Bad coffee, disloyalty, arrogance, abuse of children, abuse of animals, racism, the increasing lack of morality on the internet and social media and number one on the list ..... adult bullying.  Also people who hurt my children. In trying times how do you stay positive - my Faith. My family.  Belief that I am a compassionate person and can be there for others What makes you laugh - Family and friends with great sense of humours, when my kids tease me, Mona & Lynette, Strings of Love kids, our dogs, my many church friends and those ludicrous requests (not from t...

For many years I had a very special daily routine in my life.  The Housekeeper of my boss, who additionally is also regularly in my office building, is a wonderful lady .... like me she is married, has kids and all the challenges of balancing work, marriage, grown up kids (plus her one in school as well as also a grandchild). We understand school and all that goes with it, grown kids with girlfriends and boyfriends, family life and many other common things.  We are moms.  We are colleagues.  She calls me by my nickname, K, and we have spent many moments over the past 5 years, laughing at things, getting tears over things, getting angry over things and enjoying the daily kitchen conversation we used to have. Amazing how important the “basin” chats became. We had a special ritual ..... I would come to work and find her at the basin in the kitchen.  Whilst I threw some yoghurt and muesli in a bowl (I find it impossible to eat first thing in the morning before I g...

I combined a plan that was a long time on my personal wish list, with a crazy moment of “now is the time”, and recently started my young adults discussion group, Strings of Love. I have always found a gap in society for this.   Even in schools.   Even in my church.   A place, even in a church, that is not a Youth Group and all that goes with that, but is also not the place for professional counselling, like Lifeline.   A “half way stop” for chatting, discussing, sharing, asking and interaction.   A more structured space, with a specific starting topic each time, but with enough space for a brief social chatting time and a snack at the onset.   But structured talk had to be the focus.   This is not intended to be the Buena Vista Social Club kind of gathering. For years I have been chatting to young people who seek me out.   Via my own kids, through their school they were at, through church, through friends of friends and all sorts of ways...

What an enormous blessing my job affords me.  Death affects everyone.  And affects the families of the deceased, enormously, in different ways.  And as part of my job, I get to work with many people and families that come to the parish office to arrange funeral Masses and Services with our clergy, and then with me for every person who wishes to have the internment of Ashes in our Garden of Remembrance.  I have also worked with many families who move ashes from another GOR to ours, or bring ashes back from overseas.  It is an important time in these families’ lives, and to share this process with them in the weeks it takes, is very special.  The Garden of Remembrance is very close to my heart.  Not because I have any family there yet, but because of the 70 plus families I have worked with, whose family, friends and others are remembered there.  We have sold niches to people preparing for the future, sold niches to people immediately after a d...

Striving to be a disciple of Jesus.   Wow.  Quite a challenge.  Seems so easy to say.  Just go along all day, being nice, smiling, never losing your temper, never being abrupt, never being dismissive, never treating others unjustly, being loyal - just being the perfect disciple. Be that person who is just a walking model of the Fruits of the Holy Spirit.  When you meet such a person, I would like to be the first to know. Sometimes I think that chasing the attributes of the Fruits is akin to being a bit robotic and unnatural.  Because life is what happens amidst all our intentions to be that disciple.  Life, that messy, complicated, happy, sad, intense, fun, joyful, hurtful, slow, quick and crazy thing that we all live.  I am pretty sure that most people start the day with good intentions.  I know that I try to.  When I wake up I try and think of the best thing I expect from that day.  Some days it is a big thing, ...

So how do you handle personal insults?  Head in the sand?  Buckets of tears?  Anger?  Resentment? ..... do you take on the people head on?  Do you try and justify why they said it? Do you let it eat away at you?  Do you allow them to get away with it?  Do you fall for the overused excuse that they are allowed to have an opinion?  What is your way? 3 weeks ago I met someone I never knew before.  It was providence.  We discovered a mutual and burning dislike of adult bullies.  He is a person in a position of authority, and within 5 sentences to each other we discovered our common interest in this.  So we have spoken again about it after that, and we intend to work together on something to do with this very phenomenon.   The American Psychological Association defines this kind of bullying as “a form of behaviour in which someone intentionally and regularly causes another person discomfort, insult or pain” I want ...

So I have just returned to work after a wonderful ten day break.  Most of it in a nature reserve.  In a chalet, 20 mins drive on a dirt road from the main entrance. It was heaven.  Quiet, in the bushveld, no calls, no emails, and the bonus of warthogs and impala on the stoep every day. My hubby and daughter joined for one night, my son and his friend for 5 nights. Perfect.  I took the advice of a professional I consulted, and I used the time as I often do, to journal, but specifically letters this time, as she suggested.  I have always journaled, and filled the books not only with writing thoughts and gratitude and memories, but also to work through challenges.  I have dozens upon dozens of full journals, and I happily spend money on beautiful A5 journals with great paper and memorable covers. This and beautiful pens make me an easy person to buy a gift for! I came home having handwritten 71 A5 pages in coloured pens. All in one journal. It was quite a ...

Birthday parties. Life as we know it. No matter what stage of life we are in, or what age, somewhere, sometime, we all attend them and host them. I remember going through the plethora of kid’s parties.   Spur was the most common choice.   Almost right the way through from Gr 0 to Gr 5, moms (and sometimes dads) sat on those brown leather seats and chatted, whilst kids played in the play area, chasing each other, shrieking and only coming back for the party meal of a hamburger, a drink and an icecream.   Sugar rushed and tired we ended the day (and that was just the parents). My darling kids liked nothing more than a party at home, in the back garden.   We had Clamber Club come over and build a lot of obstacle courses in the yard.   We had the Pta Zoo bring their travelling zoo of tiny animals and reptiles to give a talk and allow the kids to touch the animals as well as all the types of skins the zoo staff brought along.   It was a hit.  ...

Lent is almost at the halfway mark.  I have battled in places.  I have succeeded in places.  I have spent a lot of time pondering and questioning my Faith.  I have challenged myself, I have challenged others.  I have even challenged my Faith.  The whole Lenten experience has changed for me over the years.  Now I even find it changing year on year as I grow older (or is it wiser?). As a child we all probably clutched onto our Mite boxes, filling them with enough coins that we actually had to lug them to church at Easter (is that because then we still had 1c, 2c and 5c coins as well?).  Sometimes the little box could not even handle the strain.  We mostly gave up cold drinks, sweets, chips and other delights.  Social media and cellphones could not be given up - could not give up something that didn’t exist.  I did have a friend at Primary School (we did Catechism first at Mount St Bernard that was in Waterkloof / Waterkloof Heigh...

So.  Moms have superpowers.  I am not saying that dads don’t, but moms ....... moms have superpowers.  Last week I had one more crazy than normal day at work (and they are usually crazy on a normal day) ... lots of stuff ...... plenty of it intense .... lots of bookkeeping .... a nonstop phone and many walk-ins. Just for fun I also had a Barium XRay on Friday.  And a wonderful push a pipe down into your throat thing on Thursday.  And a scan on Wednesday.   You should really try all that if you are bored and want to do something revolting.  I stayed an hour extra (sometimes you just cannot stop halfway in something) and then did the 35 min drive home in the traffic thing.  Then started the very diverse evening ...... by the time I flopped down to watch some TV at 10pm, I had tinted Jess’ hair, written the outline of two other blogs, picked up the pizzas from Romans, read 24 more pages of my Alex Cross novel and counselled a young...