For the past 3 weeks I have been carrying some stuff with me ... sometimes in my heart, sometimes in my head, sometimes clearly etched on my face. Those that are close to me noticed ... it is the down side of being a chirpy and lively person. The reactions were odd .. some of those that I care for simply turned a blind eye, their body language making it clear I was an irritation. It hurt. Because this is not the way I would deal with their hard days. It is not the way I am taught. Others, even some who are not that knowledgeable about me, did the little things ... a hug, one kind word, a little warmth. It went further than sarcasm and indifferent attitudes. On Friday late afternoon I found myself on my knees in church ... in the furthest point from everyone because I did not want them to see or hear my tears .. caused so quickly by something that I should have laughed off as trivial and petty. I told myself that there in the parish I have such an incredible bond with, I would find solace, answers and calm. It was not to be. And then someone came up to me and squeezed my shoulder. Pulled me against them and said " I hope whatever caused this incredible heartache I have watched now, will disappear soon". A man's voice I did not recognise. I never looked up to see who it was, my face never left my hands. I know when I came into church there were 6 or 7 people in the pews.
I left as I knew the church was going to start filling up soon. But I was touched by that kind person. I lit a candle for you today at church. For stopping and doing what God expects us to. For not walking past. For not looking past. For reaching out to someone. I think that is what He tries to teach us. Especially in His house. We should listen. And tonight I unexpectedly got a poem, from a new friend, as if she had climbed into my heart and found the pain. Just like the man in church, she reached out. And I am so grateful. Let us not be so hesitant to show compassion when we see hurt or sadness. Not so quick to grow irritated. Not so quick to not be bothered.
IF
By Douglas Malloch
If you can’t be a pine on the top of the hill,
Be a scrub in the valley – but be the best little scrub
by the side of the rill;
Be a bush if you can’t be a tree.
If you can’t be a bush be a bit of the grass,
And some highway happier make;
If you can’t be a muskie, then just be a bass -
But the liveliest bass in the lake!
We can’t all be captains, we’ve got to be crew,
There’s something for all of us here,
There’s big work to do, and there’s lesser to do,
And the task you must do is the near.
If you can’t be a highway then just be a trail,
If you can’t be the sun be a star;
It isn’t by size that you win or you fail - Be the best of whatever you are!
till next time
c'est la vie
Sunday, 17 August 2014
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