Sunday, 29 January 2017

Adult bullies

You may not hear a lot about adult bullying, but it is a problem. I personally battle to stand up to these people.  I fall back time and time again into the position of the bullied. Feeling that I need to be quieter, laugh more demurely, be more subdued or as someone hinted at "act my age now that I am 51".  I am always stunned when people in very fragile glass houses throw stones at others about behaviour. 
One would think that as people mature and progress through life, that they would stop behaviors of their youth. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Sadly, adults can be bullies, just as children and teenagers can be bullies. While adults are more likely to use verbal bullying as opposed to physical bullying, the fact of the matter is that adult bullying exists. The goal of an adult bully is to gain power over another person, and make himself or herself the dominant adult. They try to humiliate victims, and “show them who is boss.”
There are several different types of adult bullies, and it helps to know how they operate:
  1. Narcissistic Adult Bully: This type of adult bully is self-centered. He or she seems to feel good about him or herself, but in reality has a brittle narcissism that requires putting others down, criticizing their personality traits and always ensuring they are wrong in every situation of confrontation.
  2. Impulsive Adult Bully: Adult bullies in this category are more spontaneous and plan their bullying out less. Even if consequences are likely, this adult bully has a hard time restraining his or her behavior. In some cases, this type of bullying may be unintentional, resulting in periods of stress, or when the bully is actually upset or concerned about something unconnected with the victim.
  3. Verbal Adult Bully: Words can be quite damaging. Adult bullies who use this type of tactic may start rumors about the victim, or use sarcastic or demeaning language to dominate or humiliate another person. This subtle type of bullying also has the advantage – to the bully – of being difficult to document. However, the emotional and psychological impacts of verbal bullying can be felt quite keenly and can result in reduced job performance and even depression.
Adult bullies were often either bullies as children, or bullied as children. Understanding this about them may be able to help you cope with the behavior. 

Stand up.  You have a right to be you.  

till soon 
c'est la vie xxxx

Article sourced from: 

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