Tuesday, 31 March 2015

counting my blessings

Teenagers are awesome.

Yes they are also trying, irritable, irritating, cocky, opinionated and wise for days.  Yes they put their washing next to the basket, they leave glasses in the lounge and they twist you around their little fingers.  But they are also wise, witty, lovable, loving, good company.  And yes, in the case of boys, man can they eat.

Since my daughter moved to CT in Dec for 6 months to complete her professional chef's training - we have our dear 16 year old son on his lonesome ownsome here at home.  And that has been all at once amazing and interesting.

Now boys have their own inner clock.  They can stay up till 2am, then they sleep until 2pm.  A bit like bats.  Then my dear one rolls out of bed to consume 322g of Pronutro which requires 2.5lit of milk to get into any consumable form.  This is usually washed down with 2 viennas.

Naturally this is during the holidays ... in term he is out of here at 615 daily.

He has become my Saturday crossword buddy at Abreu while I have cappuccinos.  He swore high and low he was not going to accompany me in lieu of his sister when she left, but capitulated soon after.  So one day a week we do the crossword, both Beeld and Pretoria News.  We have fun.  It is a teeny learning chance wrapped up in a lot of laughter.  And he won't let me touch the pen.

We also share a love for scary movies.  The scarier the better.  We watch them until all hours of the night while my hubby shakes his head in wonder that anyone would do this to themselves.


So now in the holidays I get to spend more time with my boy ... and we Skype Jess .... and I count my blessings ..... over and over ...

c'est la vie
xxx


Thursday, 26 March 2015

broken

352 days of being brave.  Smiling. Pretending to be ok.
352 days of giving my all to everyone.
352 days of chin up, loyalty to everyone, love and being me.


And then it took just 15 minutes to finally break me.

Wednesday, 25 March 2015

my favourites

Just like "Sound of Music" says "these are a few of my favourite things":

  • Rich creamy cappuccinos at Harissa Bistro 
  • Hot and strong cappuccinos at Grounded at Echo
  • Bagels with pastrami and honey mustard at Aroma
  • Haircuts and colour at Red Carpet Hairdressing (yes you Michelle) 
  • Monthly payday breakfast with a friend
  • Anything at all at Sorbet The Club salon 
  • Regular swims at Hillcrest 
  • Seattle Coffee at the Colbyn Caltex
  • Modern Family .... Cam just kills me 
  • Hit the Floor - Nic and I glued to this 
  • Pizza Pizza and more Pizza .... currently Dominos is my fav 
  • Dr Adriaan Liebenberg's Brain Surgeons Diet 
  • Heels --- no girl should be without them
  • Bling.  As in glitter and all things shiny 
  • Reading at least 2 novels a month 
  • Nailpolish 
  • Soft fluffy fleece blankets from Woolworths (wishlist!!) 
  • Instagram
  • Wimpy icecream cones 
  • Adoration hour 
So what are yours? 

c'est la vie xxx

Monday, 23 March 2015

Puppet on a String

Lent has been good to me and for me this year.  The prayer happens naturally for me so more prayer and more reflection came naturally too.  The sacrifice was a mixed bag for me.  I gave up something tangible ... Facebook .... for a week before Lent already .... this was huge for me .... I felt cut off from my friends and they felt cut off from me.  I missed the socialising ... because through this I know who is healthy, who is ill, what good and what sadness happens in people's lives .... I love photos and I love seeing other people's pics so this was a big prob for me .... also not being able to post mine.  And I missed my overseas friends as we shared our lives on here.  But it got easier .... and I will be happy to be back on the 5th of April I am honest. 

However the big thing for me was what my reflection brought me .... it taught me something and it gave me the opportunity to give up some things .... and many of them pertained to me and how I run my life ... or let others run it for me. 

The biggest realisation of the pondering was how much of a puppet on a string I had let myself become in many parts of my life.  Always stressing as I tried to be what a small group of people, scattered in various parts of my life, want me to be.  Always correcting me .... too much of this ..... too much of that ...... problems with my blog, my FB, my home, my parenting, my this and my that.  And in this I realised .... they like me when they can control me .... it somehow fills a hole in their lives.  They do not treat most other people like this .... but they get me in their grip and we get on when I do what they say and when they can be pointing out my shortcomings all the time.   But when I realised this and I started thinking"if you think you can control me ... well you cannot", then they generally do not like this.  Because they make themselves feel better when I am their toy. 

So these relationships are going to be on an equal footing now.  You will be treated as an adult and I will expect you to treat me like one too.   That I am actually allowed to have an opinion and express it without you sulking, who can say when I am not happy with something, just like you do. This does not end a relationship, it strengthens it. 

Me ... I wish I had seen the strings earlier .... but then I realised I did ... but I kept quiet, because I am scared of losing people that I stand up to.  

I am not scared anymore.  If I am worth something to those concerned, you will grant me the freedom to be an equal.  If you can't .... then you don't deserve me in the first place. 

c'est la vie 
xxx

Thursday, 5 March 2015

50 Shades of Karin

There is a reason why many woman wear Speedo one piece costumes, or similar,when training in an Olympic size pool.  

I am not referring to those with record times who are training as part of their sports schedule - they are the ones who arrive, flex and roll their shoulders, snap on their swimming caps and goggles, splash themselves with some of the pool water before getting in and then swim 10 x 50m at a good pace, whilst looking relaxed.  I have the same look when I lie on the couch watching The Fixer and eating my pre-weighed 20g of microwave popcorn. 

No, I am referring to those women of all ages, who like me, are there to swim up and down for health and exercise reasons.  No, we do not stop halfway in the 50m, we swim all the way.  Yes we stop on either end to catch our breath but try to limit it to 30 secs.  They provide a big-ass clock there which is counting the seconds so you can measure your speed, but it is no good if you wear glasses as you cannot see the clock then.  I have enough issues trying not to swim into the end of the pool when I get to the end of the lap.  

Now I have digressed ..... back to the costume.  Speedos are made in one full length piece of stretchy fabric which has elastic firmly in all the necessary places.  It does not slip or slide and it is clearly made for the job.  However, as a mom I am rocking my normal one piece costume.  Always covers everything, but is the same one that also does the job around our pool or when we go on holiday.  Understated yes, but not always suitably elasticated for "serious" training. 

And so it was that whilst I was halfway across the wonderful turquoise blue 50m pool ... proudly swimming my favourite stroke .... backstroke ....... with 5 other swimmers in various stages of laps in the lanes around me, that I discovered that my costume straps over my shoulders were obviously stretching due to the unusual speed and force of water and as a result my costume was no longer pulled up to over my boobs, but was now under them.  

So as a result I was swimming in a public pool.  On my back.  With my costume covering me only from lower ribs down.  Doing backstroke.  What an advert for exercise and the #brainsurgeonsdiet. 

It was too deep for me to put my feet down.  So I switched to the topless freestyle instead.  And when I got to the shallow end, I adjusted the costume and winked at the guy in the lane next to mine who was gulping down his energade and staring at me - he never realised that there was such a thing as 50 Shades of Swimming. 

As my husband always says ....."in 28 years I have never been bored ..... because I never know what the hell you are going to do next".

Till soon 
c'est la vie 


Tuesday, 3 March 2015

Emotional Eating & Slaying my Addiction

I am an emotional eater. 
I am emotional.
I am an eater. 

I am all 3 but not always at once. 


I realised now as I enter the 4th week of the #brainsurgeonsdiet #16weekchallenge, that just as Dr Adriaan says in his book - I will never be a thin person.  I will lose weight, yes, and I may "become" a thinner person / thin person but I will always be a "former fat person".  As a food addict & sugar addict (which is even different from just being overweight or eating too much), I am now getting to grips with the extent of that addiction and as my exercise regime increases, and my weight decreases, I realise that what he says is very true.  I will always have to be vigilant, I will always have to keep my kilojoules in check and count them, I will always have to maintain the exercise.  

Just like any other addiction (and yes I am aware that other addictions are way more seriously taken), I cannot walk away from the "former" title.  Food and sugar addictions lead to diabetes, iron problems, back and neck problems, insomnia, cardiac problems - you are always a candidate for a heart attack or stroke, palpitations and even blackouts.  So in my mind, this addiction is also a killer. 

Perhaps this has changed my mindset about this eating plan - perhaps the fact that 6 weeks ago I woke up in the middle of the night with such a pain in my heart area and over my shoulder into my back that I actually believed I might be having a heart attack.  The fear that gripped me as I lay there for the following 3 hours was enough to drive me to action.  Telling me that I eat too much was pointless and futile because I had to see the health dangers myself.   I am doing this primarily for the health benefits - and there are many which I am already reaping.  The change in how I look however, has greatly added to my confidence. 

I am not doing this because being thinner makes me more acceptable to some people.  I am not doing this because I need to fit in.  I am not doing this because of any negative comments I have faced from people.  I am doing this for me.  And for my kids.  Because I know they would like me to still be around for quite some time.  

An interesting addition to this whole eating plan has been the reaction of people.  I was interested to see that people who had in the past always enjoyed making jibes about my weight, unfitness, wobbly bits etc etc always had time to comment regularly prior to me starting this.  Now that I am exercising and have lost 7kg, they do not spend the same amount of time cheering me on.  I realise now that the fun is taken away for bullies when the target changes.  

So do it for yourself, but hold close to you those that make up your "cheerleading" team ... I have 6 - and they are positive, motivating, interested and help drive me in a good way.  And when I battle ... they gently nudge if needed.  They notice the weight loss and what more can a girl want than to meet her BFF for coffee and she sends a Whatsapp to say "Totally slipped my mind to tell you my daughter got a car - I did not recognize you - new hair and getting so thin - you look stunning".  Elm you a gem - you make me feel 20kg lighter.




So into week 4 I am.  
Watch this space. 

Till next time
c'est la vie xxx

Mo Salah, My car and other stuff

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