Monday, 21 December 2015

the moon, the cloud and the raindrops in my life

The weather made me think about 2 things in the last two hours. 

I was letting the dogs in and as I locked the gate I glanced up and through the trees I saw a sliver of moon, the rest concealed by a very black sky.  As I watched, within seconds, the dark cloud in front of the moon glided slightly to the right and then gracefully stopped and the moon that was barely visible a few seconds previously now stood more illuminated and only partially covered. 

Now, about 2 hours later, the 39 degree heat of today has suddenly and instantly been broken.  A crash of thunder and a huge bolt of lightning and the skies have opened, with decent rain.  Not that drippy excuse for rain kind of rain that stops after 72 drops, decent rain that has water cascading down our gutters and offers sweet reprieve for the brilliant blue skies and unrelenting heat we sweated under today. 

Instantly I thought of two things now.  How very much like our lives this weather is.  How often do we - vibrant, fun-loving, luminous and outgoing people have our light covered by a black cloud?  A life event or series of events that sees that cloud hanging in front of us on a regular basis or for a prolonged time?  How often do we try and make our love and radiance shine through the cloud, but find ourselves being choked by it.  Many times this year I felt like that.  A situation not of my or my loved ones making, engulfing us and overwhelming us, knocking out our light and love of life.  But like the moon, we just stood our ground.  And regularly, by the grace of many others, the cloud shifted across gracefully allowing us the very brilliance I saw in the moon tonight. 

And that led me to think about this rain.  Washing the earth, dissipating the clouds, bringing relief and for many in our country struggling in the drought, great joy.  And that is what we have found .... a growing group of people, familiar and unfamiliar who have, like thunder and lightning - jumped into our lives and made huge sweeps to knock that cloud away, and like the rain have given us great relief. 

Our lives, not just mine, but all of mankind... have periods of clouds, rain, brilliant sunshine and frightening fog that we think we will never come out of.  That is how life works.  Sometimes we spend long times in the great weather and short times in the really terrible weather.  Other times we have long periods of miserable weather and feel like the sun is just never coming back.  

But it does.  And in my life and in my 2015 ... I cling to every person who was a raindrop, or a drizzle or a good old fashioned great storm.  Because every one of those drops knocked the cloud a bit to the side, more and more and helped me to shine and reminded me of my vibrancy and of who I truly am.

All your hands are safely in mine.  And in time I will get to be your raindrop also.  Perhaps I already am. 

How very blessed we are. 

till soon 
c'est la vie xxx

Thursday, 17 December 2015

my 4 non-resolutions - just simply what i will glide into from today

So this New Year resolution thing ..... same old same old.  Approach it with great enthusiasm during December - get the plans ready - many people go with the standard favourites - lose weight, eat healthy, sleep more, go to church more, be nicer to others etc etc etc.  All keen 31 December .... excited and enthused 1 Jan - needing reminding by 31 Jan and by 6 March ALL FALL DOWN.  Not everyone, but most of those that I know of.  Including me.  Which is why I stopped this ridiculous pressure on myself 4 years ago. 

Why do we need a fresh start on 1 Jan?  Why wait?  Do you decide that you are a crappy person in June but then you have to pass the time being like that until 1 Jan?  Why not just say in the summer that you will change in the winter?  Same delay tactic.  

So next year I am looking at a few things - not forcing, not pressurizing, not having a reward system and not being nagged by others.  Nothing worse than people that ask what your resolutions are and then nag you about them all year long.  

So what am I giving some attention to ...... 
  1. A gentle reminder that very often what you give is actually what you get in return.  This year I have seen an outpouring of love and kindness from a wide group of people, some know me a lot, some know me a little, but they surrounded me.  When I asked my son how I would repay all this kindness he said to me "mom have you ever considered that they are actually paying you back for your kindness?".  So I shall continue to be mindful of the fact that kindness given brings kindness back and then you give more etc etc.   So # 1 focus on continuing kindness
  2. The fact that you can love someone but you can never love them enough for both of you.  As the Tumblr quote goes "love them anyway".  I have learnt over the past 18 months in particular that love in any form hurts.  Because you put your heart on a plate and say "here" but there is a chance it simply gets stomped on.  But love special people - remember that loving someone and being in love with them is not the same - I am talking of the former, not the latter.  So # 2 focus on continuing love
  3. Prayerfulness  along with a good dose of meditation.  Thanks to a wonderful programme I am gaining momentum with, my meditation schedule has over the past 2 months been worked on so continuously that I am able to completely switch off for 15 mins a day, sometimes twice a day - anywhere and everywhere in a whole serious of meditations through a phone app.  It took long for me to master the "cutting everything out" bit - I found myself distracted by noise, my thoughts and much else.  However I have now got so far along that I can switch off quite successfully - so I will continue to find this deep quiet inside myself.  I am able to calm myself in a stress situation, fall asleep, centre my thoughts and much else with these.  So # 3 focus on stillness inside and prayer inside
  4. Serenity.  I have to learn that not everyone says thank you, some simply take you for granted.  Not everyone is capable of saying "you matter", not everyone will appreciate you.  That is their thing.  And as my FB status says "the way you make other people feel when they are around you, says much about you".  I need to focus that when I feel unthanked for big or little things, unappreciated or any of the other un-s, I need to look at that person/people and remind myself that the way they make me feel, says more about them than about me.  I will continue to shower those around me with gratitude and appreciation.  Because that says something about me.  So # 4 focus on inner peace
Those are the places I want to find myself in the coming year.  Along with a healthy dose of the 56 ways to be Merciful during the Year of Mercy that we were alerted to. 

If along with that I lose 5 kg and get my "leaving for everything too late" issue sorted.  Well then ....

c'est la vie 



till soon 
xxxx

Friday, 11 December 2015

the price of real friendship

Real deep friendship has no price
Real deep friendship has no conditions

It has unbelievable love and caring
It has sharing and deep and regular laughter

Real deep friendship says "I accept and love you just as you are. Always"
Real deep friendship says "Don't ever change who you are"

It allows you to be authentic
It allows you to let your guard down

Real deep friendship says I am always on  your side
Real deep friendship says I have your back - and does

It allows you to say let me help you
It allows you to say it's ok

Real deep friendship is a blessing that not everyone gets
Real deep friendship is an incredible privilege

It allows you to say you matter to me
It allows you to say just be you


The price of real meaningful friendship - there is not one.  I am blessed in that I am able to say to some "I love you just as you are.  Always".    If I have given you that gift, don't ever forget to treasure it.


till later
c'est la vie

searching for silence

Our country is in complete turmoil.  The press abounds with news of the shock dismissal of our Minister of Finance.  The plummeting rand.  The newly appointed replacement Minister. Calls for President Zuma's resignation.  Bad news, bad news and many a talking point. 

At the same time it is Advent.  A time of waiting.  A time of quiet.  A time of preparation.  A journey. Not a race. 

And somewhere I need to find balance between the headlines, tweets, FB comments, press articles and barrage of negativity and the quietness I am seeking. 

I turn to my daily Advent reflections.  I play Gregorian Chanting loudly whilst I work.  I look for joy in my friendships, my family, my job, our pets, our parish and the quietness which that cool and reflective sanctuary brings. 

I look for quietness in my thoughts.  I am going to look for it when my leave starts on Tuesday.  A space.  Just a space.  Where I am not being asked a question every 2 minutes, juggling 10 things at once and being available all the time for anything.  A time when I can sleep.  Rest.  Read.  Reflect.  A time when I can tell my brain to slow down.  

I will look for the quietness in myself.  Perhaps that is a good place to start. 



Till soon 
c'est la vie 

Wednesday, 2 December 2015

bond. james bond.

Bond.  James Bond.

Who can resist?  Piercing blue eyes.  Tailored bespoke suits.  Just a tad of stubble.  That short short hair with a touch of grey at the temples.  That walk ... slow, measured and then of course he has an Aston Martin.  Face it.  You like him.

Saw the new Bond movie, Spectre, tonight.  It had all the makings of a Bond movie .... great car chases, lots of action, fight scenes, decent plot and then the Bond women.  This time there were 2 .... the awesome Monica Belluci who is 51 and since I am 50 next month, she made me feel awful.  She is spectacular.  However hers was barely a cameo role - the whole movie just centered around Bond's new blonde love interest.

And then there is Moneypenny.  Always on her post, always pre-empting what Bond needs, always on the same wavelength, always able to answer his questions.  She has changed over the years in who plays her, but Moneypenny is the epitome of the dedicated secretary / pa / righthand woman.  She is bright, fiery and unfailingly loyal - I love her.  She has always been my favourite character.

If I am ever a boss, I want my very own Moneypenny for sure - and he lets her drive the Aston Martin.


till soon 

c'est la vie xxxx



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