my 4 non-resolutions - just simply what i will glide into from today
So this New Year resolution thing ..... same old same old. Approach it with great enthusiasm during December - get the plans ready - many people go with the standard favourites - lose weight, eat healthy, sleep more, go to church more, be nicer to others etc etc etc. All keen 31 December .... excited and enthused 1 Jan - needing reminding by 31 Jan and by 6 March ALL FALL DOWN. Not everyone, but most of those that I know of. Including me. Which is why I stopped this ridiculous pressure on myself 4 years ago.
Why do we need a fresh start on 1 Jan? Why wait? Do you decide that you are a crappy person in June but then you have to pass the time being like that until 1 Jan? Why not just say in the summer that you will change in the winter? Same delay tactic.
So next year I am looking at a few things - not forcing, not pressurizing, not having a reward system and not being nagged by others. Nothing worse than people that ask what your resolutions are and then nag you about them all year long.
So what am I giving some attention to ......
- A gentle reminder that very often what you give is actually what you get in return. This year I have seen an outpouring of love and kindness from a wide group of people, some know me a lot, some know me a little, but they surrounded me. When I asked my son how I would repay all this kindness he said to me "mom have you ever considered that they are actually paying you back for your kindness?". So I shall continue to be mindful of the fact that kindness given brings kindness back and then you give more etc etc. So # 1 focus on continuing kindness
- The fact that you can love someone but you can never love them enough for both of you. As the Tumblr quote goes "love them anyway". I have learnt over the past 18 months in particular that love in any form hurts. Because you put your heart on a plate and say "here" but there is a chance it simply gets stomped on. But love special people - remember that loving someone and being in love with them is not the same - I am talking of the former, not the latter. So # 2 focus on continuing love
- Prayerfulness along with a good dose of meditation. Thanks to a wonderful programme I am gaining momentum with, my meditation schedule has over the past 2 months been worked on so continuously that I am able to completely switch off for 15 mins a day, sometimes twice a day - anywhere and everywhere in a whole serious of meditations through a phone app. It took long for me to master the "cutting everything out" bit - I found myself distracted by noise, my thoughts and much else. However I have now got so far along that I can switch off quite successfully - so I will continue to find this deep quiet inside myself. I am able to calm myself in a stress situation, fall asleep, centre my thoughts and much else with these. So # 3 focus on stillness inside and prayer inside
- Serenity. I have to learn that not everyone says thank you, some simply take you for granted. Not everyone is capable of saying "you matter", not everyone will appreciate you. That is their thing. And as my FB status says "the way you make other people feel when they are around you, says much about you". I need to focus that when I feel unthanked for big or little things, unappreciated or any of the other un-s, I need to look at that person/people and remind myself that the way they make me feel, says more about them than about me. I will continue to shower those around me with gratitude and appreciation. Because that says something about me. So # 4 focus on inner peace
Those are the places I want to find myself in the coming year. Along with a healthy dose of the 56 ways to be Merciful during the Year of Mercy that we were alerted to.
If along with that I lose 5 kg and get my "leaving for everything too late" issue sorted. Well then ....
c'est la vie