Facebook - not all friends, but its own kind of community

Facebook is a funny little thing.  Social media indeed, but also very often well disguised and hiding what it can be - a malicious, spiteful little playground in which, like kids, people play little games.  It fascinates me for 2 reasons - one because I am stunned that people cannot just enjoy the site - share in other's happiness - be happy for other's happiness - say something - know when they share something sad that perhaps this forum is the only one one which they can share hurt, consider that before you mutter a nasty comment in your head, or to someone else about them.  Secondly because many people make it so obvious.  I shake my head in something akin to pity. 

I have a casual friend and we have a mutual acquaintance.  It tickles me - if she puts the word "the" as her status my friend will be the first Like she gets.  If she posts one of the vast collection of regular pics of herself, even if completely blurred and average ..... the land speed record for Like Like Like is broken.  It is not about what she says or posts or reposts or comments on, it is simply that if her name appears in the News Feed, then it must be Liked.  I thought I was being strange until 3 other people noticed it - so I am not as mad as I thought.  

Then you have the flipside - friends who make it a point not to comment or Like anything - and lets face it - you know when it is deliberate.  I am a little amused as to what the message is that the person is trying to send.  I am actually a little concerned at such pettiness in grown ups.  

Something I learnt in Lifeline when I did my counselling course - THINK!!!!!  

Maybe someone who shares something about a joyful occurrence in their lives is doing simply that - sharing a joy with you.  Not bragging or showing off. 

Maybe someone who shares something sad like a death or the loss of a job or the loss of a pet or whatever - is simply sharing it because they are sad or projecting it on others or it is a coping mechanism.  Not looking for undeserved sympathy or snippy remarks

Maybe someone who shares a pic of their baby, toddler, teenager, grown child etc is proud and wants to show their child some public acknowledgement.  Not trying to make their child better than others.    

Maybe someone who vents about something that irritates them, has no-one else to vent to or no-one else that listens to them.  Will it kill you to read it?  

And before some of you attack me by saying it is your choice, yes it is.  When it is a reasonable choice.  But when it is done with forethought or to make some sort of point, nope.

So next time someone posts something or says something that includes you, or posts a photo that includes you, be what our priest calls your #bestself and be gentle. Maybe they are proud to feature in a pic with you.  Be kind. Have fun.  Who knows how happy you may make someone's heart. 

I know a priest who has subsequently moved to another province.  When Jess wrote matric, the results came out, she did phenomenally and the first place we came at 6pm was to Mass in thanksgiving.  This priest at the end of the Mass said "Let us share in a great joy" and he told them what had happened and how happy it made him to see people who prayed for success, also praying in thanks for that success.  He then said something I have never forgotten in the 2 years since then - "We are a community, we are not all friends, but we are all a community, and a community must celebrate the joys openly and share the sadness's together openly".    

How often when someone does something are we just not capable of telling others because we don't want any "shine" to come their way.

And that is what Facebook is to some.  A kind of community.  Not all friends, but to them a community in which they share. 

There are worse things you can do. 



till soon 
c'est la vie 



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