There are no Saints amongst us. How Blessed we Are.

💙💚💛💜💖

We need to learn to "Let Go and Let God" Fr Sibonelo at Ngome reminded us a few months ago on our weekend retreat.  It sounded like a great plan.  There, all rejuvenated and revived and spiritually excited I agreed that I would try.  

So here I am. A few months later. Thinking about Let Go and Let God.  Wondering if my motto should not rather be something more forceful.  And please do not ask me WWJD. 

I am under an unusual amount of pressure presently.  Mentally I sometimes find myself floundering in a newly changed situation, as so many areas of my life are currently altering and shifting and realigning themselves.  I am like a child in a learn to swim programme who has moved into the big pool.  I am familiar with the environment but still want the safety of the rail while I settle.  

I have been surprised to find that some people that I thought were the rail are actually those taking the screws out of it and shoving me under the water.  I have been reminded repeatedly recently of how easily we all forget about our own shortcomings, faults and stupid behaviours when we are busy focusing on these in others. There are no Saints .....

Let Go and Let God.  I spoke at great length to Fr Sibonelo about this in a quiet half hour on the one day.  It sounds so lovely ..... no matter what happens or what you do to me or anyone else or how you treat me or anyone else, I must just smile and wave, let it go and leave it up to God to deal with you.  Can you do that?  I mean you, the one reading this? Do you like to deal the cards?  Do you allow others to do the same?

We react.  That is what we do.  Yes including you, the one currently shaking their head thinking "not me".  We react.  It is so much easier to point outwards than inwards.  To say "you are" instead of "I am".  It is easier to point out faults than to deal with our own.  When this becomes largely one-sided, resentment breeds. 

I find myself questioning, challenging, studying, discerning, resisting, inviting and immersing myself in change. I find myself rebelling against those who neglect the messiness of their own lives, or refuse me the right to comment, when they however highlight messiness in mine.  I am however, more than happy and enthusiastic to engage with those who allow there to be some quid pro quo.

I have now decided that giving love does not necessarily mean getting it, giving friendship does not always mean you receive it, loyalty unfortunately does not beget loyalty, nor does trust beget trust.  Giving 100% does not automatically mean you receive 100% in return from people or situations. This does not make me a victim of some delusional vision of how life should be, it makes me a strong person, who can realise this truth. 

So I shall focus on Fr Sibonelo.  Let Live and Let God.  I will allow other people's behaviours, habits, idiosyncrasies, messiness, lies, judgements and other be theirs.  People must each live their own way, God will take care of the reprimands.  

But for heavens sake, allow me to have some messiness, just like you do.  Let Live and Let God applies to me as well.  God will reprimand me as He sees fit.  And I shall speak up if I do not agree. 

There are no Saints. Is that not wonderful!

till soon 
c'est la vie xxx