The tale of two contact lenses, two eyes and a novice

I got contact lenses today.  Now that in itself is nothing ridiculously amazing BUT ..... I have worn glasses for 20 years and now at the age of 47 got my very first pair of contact lenses.  Feel like a child who got their first bicycle.  

The optometrist worked wonders and they were ready 3 days after my eye test.  They closed at 530pm today.  I got there 535pm after phoning them and asking them to please wait as I was soooo excited.  They were even excited at my joy.  Now since I had my Lifeline course class at 7pm, all I had to do was go home and put them in my eyes.  As you can see, waiting for later was not an option for me. 

So I go into the bathroom, close the door, clean my hands, chase dog out, close door again, and stare at the two little sealed packets of liquid and lenses.  The 1st problem was opening the sealed packet, it was a challenge.  The 2nd problem came once I had opened it ... it was filled with liquid ... I could not see the lens.  I dug around blindly in the liquid until I found it. 

I decided to start with my right eye.  Position lens on finger.  Look straight into mirror.  Tilt eyes upwards.  Put lens on eye below pupil and blink once.  Then it is in.  That is what the booklet said and the optometrist.  Pfffffft.  After all that I moved away from the mirror and blinked.  The lens was still on my finger. 
Attempt two, move finger and lens towards eye, eye starts watering, lens falls on bathroom counter where I have messed 500ml of lens liquid and now I have to find the frikken lens again. 
Attempt three ... call Nic because I have now discovered that whilst I am looking heavenward, I am unable to see when my hand/lens is near my eye.  I keep dipping the lens into the liquid until Nic says, "mom for heavens sake it is not chip and dip".  So he is next to me going "closer, closer, closer, now".  When he said "now", I let it go.  It landed on my bottom lashes and stuck out horizontal to the floor.  I retrieved it.  No-one told me to keep pouring more liquid on the lens, so imagine how dry it was by now. 

Attempt four ...... he says "closer, closer, now"..... I let the lens go, I blink as instructed, I swing around to him and shout "TA DA".  He now collapses with laughter and says "mom you are an idiot, look in the mirror"...... I do.  My pride at getting the lens in was short-lived .... the lens was balancing on my right cheek, 12cm below my eye.  Sigh. 

Eventually at attempt six Nic grabbed my finger with the lens and guided it until the lens touched my eyeball.  I blinked.  It went in, "I can see", I shrieked and danced a little jig. 

It took only 7 attempts to get the left one in.  Twice I folded it, it fell once on my jersey, once completely out when I let it go and finally BOOM, into my eye and I can see there too.  

I admit it is a little blurry, probably because they are dirty.  I admit that I can see 70 % because I am battling to see far which is a bit tricky driving.  Those are things I will phone and verify tomorrow.  But they were in my eyes from 6pm to now ..... 6 hrs and the feeling is fantastic.  

But for now?  It is 1150pm and I need to now get these lenses out of my eyes and into their little holder ......... heaven help us .......... Nic, come here please ...... 

And I seriously need to stop pushing up my glasses with my fingers, especially since I am no longer wearing glasses :)

till next time
c'est la vie 

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