a lifeline to ourselves

I have been so privileged lately to meet a whole lot of incredible new people whilst I am busy on the Lifeline Counsellors Course.   We are a group of 18, all tied to the Queenswood Catholic Church, all ages, all backgrounds, all races, all walks of life, a variety of jobs, many stories, some married, some divorced, some single, some dating ...... but everyone with the same goal..... to grow through the first 9 sessions of 3 hours each and then to proceed to the next 8 sessions of 3 hours each. 

I remember when I signed up and I heard that Mondays and Thursdays from 7 to 10pm for 17 lessons I was bound, no abseentism, full attention and homework, I thought for a brief moment, how on earth am I going to squeeze this into a ridiculously full life.  And then, on the night of the first lesson, I felt such joy at going and once we had done the introductions and got started, I find myself very excited on the days of my classes.  I have fitted it in, by making more me time, for realising that my home and my hubby and my kids can manage quite well without me for 2 nights a week. 

And there amongst my smaller focus group of a facilitator and 4 other classmates I have found myself.  We knew it would be tough going these first 9 classes of personal growth.  We have cried (a lot) ... guys and girls .... we have laughed, we have frowned and revealed and shared our deepest secrets and fears.  We have covered all our years from toddler till now, we have hauled it all out ..... every week giving a little more, every week baring our souls, trusting each other and finding our little group of six getting closer and closer.  As one of the guys in my group said tonight "you are all becoming "my people" as we share stuff in this wonderful safe environment".  And often when we cry and laugh, we not only do so for ourselves, but we cry for others in our group.  And we grow ..... damn how Lifeline has stretched me ...... I feel like someone has climbed into my soul and just ripped out a whole lot of stuff. 

And each lesson we do, each piece of homework, each reveal, each exercise designed to make us deal with stuff, make peace with stuff, work through stuff is another piece of baggage we throw down off our backs.  And we question ourselves and we see our reactions and our actions and we grow some more.  

And through this all I know that F, P, K, M and N have gained a piece of my heart and my life that no-one will understand and that we have forever given a precious piece of ourselves to each other. 

And my family at home carry me through this, on the happy nights and the sad nights, because this part of the course sends us home with both.  But they see the light switching on in me, they see me stretching myself .... they see me shrugging off so much stuff. 

And to the person who kickstarted this whole process ........ my eternal gratitude for giving me courage and teaching me the importance of processing stuff gently.  

Till next time 
c'est la vie xxx

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