Menfolk and chillies

I just watched a friend of mine bite right through the middle of a red chilli.  It made my entire day.  It started as a simple conversation.  I had been "sent" to go and procure the chillis for the stew, and when I came back he expressed doubt at what I had bought.  So to prove that these could be "used anyway", although not exactly what he wanted, he tore open the plastic, grabbed one and bit through.  The expression on his face and horror in his eyes told me immediately that I had actually bought exactly what he asked me to. 

What followed was certainly very amusing to all of us who witnessed it.  A dishcloth to swab the mouth, liquid to swallow, eyes watering, coughing and then a bout of hiccups. 

It made me think of an evening two years ago, before my hubby became a vegetarian.  I had made a pasta dish and I decided, before dishing up his portion, to spice it up for him.  Now not really ever cooking with chillis, my quantity perception was obviously skewed.  I grabbed several red chillis and simply hacked them up, seeds and all, into not really small circles, and dumped them in.  I dished up and waited for his expression of joy and adoration and love to bubble up as he tasted my wonderful food that I had prepared.  

I was not adequately prepared for what came next. 

He put a large forkful in his mouth.  There was dead silence.  He looked up in sheer horror, his eyes the size of saucers.  He did two things simultaneously ..... dropped the plate (it shattered) and spat the food out his mouth.  He then said "&*%$ Laverne (he calls me Laverne) are you mad?"  This was not quite the accolade I was aiming for.  He dashed to the basin and started gulping down water.  I did not think this was the best time to say don't put your mouth against the kitchen tap.  He then reversed and grabbed the 2lit milk out the fridge.  He chugged the entire lot.  In between he kept looking at me with horror.  He had now moved on to some delightful spicy language, to go with the heat of the food.  Jeez, it was a little mistake.  

It was a little awkward that while I was apologising and telling him to calm down, his lips were starting to look like 189 ml of botox had just been pumped in.  

Sjoe.  Men just can't handle their chillies it seems. 

till next time
c'est la vie xxx


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