Thursday 5 March 2015

50 Shades of Karin

There is a reason why many woman wear Speedo one piece costumes, or similar,when training in an Olympic size pool.  

I am not referring to those with record times who are training as part of their sports schedule - they are the ones who arrive, flex and roll their shoulders, snap on their swimming caps and goggles, splash themselves with some of the pool water before getting in and then swim 10 x 50m at a good pace, whilst looking relaxed.  I have the same look when I lie on the couch watching The Fixer and eating my pre-weighed 20g of microwave popcorn. 

No, I am referring to those women of all ages, who like me, are there to swim up and down for health and exercise reasons.  No, we do not stop halfway in the 50m, we swim all the way.  Yes we stop on either end to catch our breath but try to limit it to 30 secs.  They provide a big-ass clock there which is counting the seconds so you can measure your speed, but it is no good if you wear glasses as you cannot see the clock then.  I have enough issues trying not to swim into the end of the pool when I get to the end of the lap.  

Now I have digressed ..... back to the costume.  Speedos are made in one full length piece of stretchy fabric which has elastic firmly in all the necessary places.  It does not slip or slide and it is clearly made for the job.  However, as a mom I am rocking my normal one piece costume.  Always covers everything, but is the same one that also does the job around our pool or when we go on holiday.  Understated yes, but not always suitably elasticated for "serious" training. 

And so it was that whilst I was halfway across the wonderful turquoise blue 50m pool ... proudly swimming my favourite stroke .... backstroke ....... with 5 other swimmers in various stages of laps in the lanes around me, that I discovered that my costume straps over my shoulders were obviously stretching due to the unusual speed and force of water and as a result my costume was no longer pulled up to over my boobs, but was now under them.  

So as a result I was swimming in a public pool.  On my back.  With my costume covering me only from lower ribs down.  Doing backstroke.  What an advert for exercise and the #brainsurgeonsdiet. 

It was too deep for me to put my feet down.  So I switched to the topless freestyle instead.  And when I got to the shallow end, I adjusted the costume and winked at the guy in the lane next to mine who was gulping down his energade and staring at me - he never realised that there was such a thing as 50 Shades of Swimming. 

As my husband always says ....."in 28 years I have never been bored ..... because I never know what the hell you are going to do next".

Till soon 
c'est la vie 


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