Adult bullies. Narcissists. Call them what you like.

I wrote a blog on Sunday evening and then this one last night - I am placing them in reverse order .....

Adult bullies.  Yip you get them. 

It's usually defined as behaviour that is repeated and intended to hurt someone either physically or emotionally.  It is the latter one I refer to.

I returned and looked for and re-read in a friend's book recently a chapter about Personality Disorders and especially Narcissism.  It was an interesting read because I looked at it with different eyes this time around. 

I am always sensitive to bullying, because it took me such a very long time to recognize and acknowledge them for what they are.  

And particularly during this Lenten period I am having greater challenges than normal to understand why someone will willingly and knowingly choose to make others feel "lesser", thereby making themselves feel powerful.  Why you will be happy to never tell others (not everyone, just hand picked ones) that they are important.  Our Priest teaches us about #bestself.  I sometimes wonder if these people look in the mirror each morning and pat themselves on the back. 

Such people very often are seen by a great great many people as being even-tempered, loving, warm, kind and generous all the time.  But the unlucky select few who always seem to feel the wrath, be it silence or sarcasm or whatever, for every little thing they say or do that may be annoying to the other person, they tell a different story. 

Let me give you a very basic and stupid example - You tell someone that you really love when someone asks you how your weekend was.  That person then makes a conscious and concerted effort to make sure they NEVER ask you.  Best self?  I think not. Grown up?  I think not.  A good example?  I think not.  It is very much like "kleinmannetjiesindroom" - petty and self-centred.  Perhaps we need to pray harder for them.

Or just a good old-fashioned bully. 

How to rid yourself of the hold they have on you?  Trust me when I learn, you will be the first people I tell. 

Till soon, stand strong
much love
c'est la vie 

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