Friendship ... not just one big thing .... but a million small ones

So how do we define friendship?  The term rolls so easily off the tongue but I think very often the word friendship and the word acquaintance get confused.  

If my relationship with someone is not safe, comfortable, mostly happy, sometimes fraught with discord it is an acquaintance.  If it does not have the space to speak openly, debate, divulge, share, face hard truths, argue, voice concerns and contain laughter, joy and its own special moments ... it is an acquaintance. 

Friendship is like a comfortable pair of slippers ..... you can be around others, you can spend time with others, but when you slip on those slippers, you are comfortable and your authentic self.  You cannot put a price on something like that.  Close friendship is not about always agreeing.  Close friendship allows the space to disagree .... even vociferously, but mindfully ..... without so much as a dent on the friendship.  It allows you to be yourself, warts and all.  It makes room for you to make mistakes - sometimes borne out of circumstances.... because you can go to that person and say "I am sorry" and you find that they are still there.  Solidly waiting for the dust to settle.  As my very wise daughter commented "in a friendship you don't end it because you have an argument or a sticky few days" .... I have never known those words to be more true than in the last few days.  I looked at some friendships and thought of the many many little deeds and caring acts that make them so relevant ... for both parties. 

I have learnt a lot about the difference recently ........ I have a amazing best friend who is the safest and most comfortable place in the world - she is without any doubt "my person" and a have a very important friend who is not only the wisest person I know, but embodies everything that makes a safe friendship.  Sometimes we just have to be reminded ..... 

So if you are a friend, have a friend, love your friend ...... silently thank that little group tonight.  And pray for them. 

till next time, 
c'est la vie xxx

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