fitting in the fitting room

Now who the hell designed clothing fitting rooms?  A total moron is my guess!

There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING flattering about trying anything on in these rooms irrespective of your height, build, sex or style of dressing. Now most of them have curtains, usually with rings on a rail.  For some bizarre reason these curtains don't all close to the end of the rail so you always have the 5 - 10cm peephole (although a few stores have gone deluxe and have wooden doors) and then there are those with the doors that come sort of midcalf.  I especially don't enjoy standing in the queue and watching other people step out of their clothing in that 30cm opening at the bottom of the door --- great planning whoever you are!!

Now once in there, clutching your little perspex number (I went in with Jess the other day, she got a number 3 for her 3 items of clothing and I got a number 0 because I walked with......... I mean what they going to do?  Frisk me?), you hang your choices up on those little hook things and then the fun REALLY begins.  

Lighting is important.  Preferably fluorescent tubes or square lights, or even better spotlights,,,,,, because don't we all know how fantastic our skin tone looks in this kind of light and there is nothing like spotlights to light up the previously unlit areas of the body.  Bit like the CSI morgue .... but in a store.  So once you are looking as sallow and drawn as possible you can face the mirrors.  Long, and for some reason not always perfectly undistorted, they adorn the walls on up to three surfaces ensuring in that way that the only angle you cannot see is the absolute top of your head.  More than once I have glanced over my shoulder and thought "What the hell is that", only to realise that it's me. 

Now when you try something on I find that the ratio of "Wow I look fantastic" to "Wow I look like the Oros man" are usually 1:100 ....... and I am not even talking about swimsuits yet.  Swimsuits and fitting rooms are a whole other blog. 

Now do yourself a favour and stand outside a fitting room .... there are of course the gorgeous youngsters who skip out looking delighted, the uber-buff gym men and women who saunter out looking happy with their purchases and then the rest of the people .,.,.,.,,.,, putting their perspex 4 back on the rack whilst slamming 4 outfits onto that rail at the entrance and muttering "smaller sizes of today, crappy colour, stupid style" etc. 

So I have learnt.  Changerooms are for shoes.  You don't get naked.  You look great in all 3 mirrors.  You usually pick the right size.  The lighting makes no difference ........ hell, try your clothes on at home.  That's what the return policy is for. 

Till next time,
c'est la vie xxxxx