Cellotaping. Clicking. Slurping. Banging and other stuff

So what little things annoy you?  I thought of this today as I wondered which ingenious staff member at a large national pharmaceutical chain decided to cellotape the eyeliner lids to the actually eyeliner pencils.  This is great so people don't use it as testers in the store, but heavens sake at least do not use 20cm of cellotape wound 100 times around the same place thereby restricting the buyer from ever using it either. After trying to remove the thick cellotape with a) my teeth b) a knife c) a scissor d) bad language, I then in a moment of panic (was trying to leave for Mass), did a very "inappropriate before going to church" thing and smashed the plastic lid with the meat mallet so I could get to the pencil.  

Then there is the tollgate thing.  The tollgate I use onto the highway is a stop and pay kind.  Not the go under whilst showing the middle finger which is more the eToll kind of thing.  Now it is mostly people entering and exiting the highway daily at that point that use our tollgate.  It came into use about 7 years ago.  So you would think by now people, having gone through it 52 879 times, would understand that the fee is the same, every day, and the booth is in the same place, every day ..... so why the hell in peak hour traffic do people pull up to the window with that "oh my word look here is a tollgate" surprised look on their faces and then start that thing that irritates me when I am behind them ... hunting under their seats, in the coin holder, in the flap down mirror thingy or in their purses to get the right change.

Repetitive noises.  Of any kind.  My kids know do not tap, click, bang or shake anything in a repetitive sound next to me unless you are playing in a concert. Ditto for a window banging continuously in a monotone or a squeaking door. And just so you know, NEVER sit next to me in a meeting or the office or any other place if it is your intention to click your pen on and off the whole time.  I will destruct your pen.  And while we are on the subject .... if you buy a Slush Puppy, Coke, Juice or anything at the movies, decide before you go in at what height you want your straw and then do not move it again.  That screeching sound as you move your straw in and out that tiny lid opening also brings out the worst in me.   As does anyone sitting anywhere near me in the movies and having to check their facebook, twitter, whatsapp and sms' all the time.  The light around the phone is irritating and unless you are a surgeon on call, trust me you can survive for 90 mins without checking the above.  If not, stay home and wait for the movie to be on BoxOffice. 

Cold stuff.  If I want my cappuccino, eggs, pizza or anything else cold, then I will especially ask upon ordering for you to ensure it stands long enough to get cold before you bring it.  As cappuccino is a hot beverage (it is under hot beverages on the menu), I fail to see why I actually have to specify hot when I order it.  My favourite is when I say hot, it comes lukewarm and then when I send it back it gets nuked in the microwave so that it returns with not a drop of foam left on top.  

And then my personal hobby horse for 2014 ....... rude people, unkind people, skinnering people (gossips for overseas readers), backstabbers, unappreciative people ..... you can complete the list.  I have come to realise rather harshly over the past 6 months that shit happens.  To us all.  So have a little compassion when it happens to others, because either in your past you have had turbulent waters and relied on others or somewhere in your future it may be waiting .... so be nice. 

And don't sit near me with your pen. 

till soon
c'est la vie 

kikidee@iburst.co.za 




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