Tuesday 12 March 2013

You have reached your destination ... Really??

Due to me having appointments here, there and everywhere for my job, the NPO kindly bought me a TomTom.  Now aforementioned gadget has actually come in very handy over the past year and has safely taken me to many places all over including other provinces. 

Let me rephrase ..... it has taken me to many places ....... 98 % of the time, correctly. 

And then there is that other 2 %.  Shortly after getting it, I had to go and see a major mining group at their impressive head offices in Jhb city centre.  You can see their offices from far, not only because they take up several blocks, but because they are so beautiful.  That's great, but I am driving, not flying.  So I entered the address into the TomTom.  It told me it could not find it.  A street that has been a part of SA for about 3652 years.  So I had to drive by keeping my eye firmly on the target.  Not so easy in the city centre where every 2nd street is a one way and when I was not dodging taxis I seemed to always be going towards the other cars.  

Then on another spectacular occasion, my BF and I had to attend an evening function in Jhb, once again right in the city centre.  I entered the street address and number and the TomTom smiled and steered us there.  It was all going well until the British lady announced "you have reached your destination".  It was 7pm.  We were in the centre of Jhb.  In what looked like a taxi rank.  The only people around us were hawkers doing their last veggie trade for the day and taxi drivers.  And the people were staring at us as if to say "are you two out of your flippen minds?".  Definately not anyone for the Jodi Picoult book tour.  So we drove on, randomly sticking to the street name.  3 blocks down we see 3 Jhb Metro cops standing.  We pull over .... I ask them where the venue is located .... (it is a reasonably well known one I believe).  They tell me they don't know. I tell them the street address.  They still don't know.  I wondered if they were actually just dressed as Metro cops and were on their way to a fancy dress party???   So we keep going and lo and behold a further 2 blocks down spot the destination on the left.  What the hell was Tommy TomTom thinking?

And then this afternoon ...... 

Nic has been chosen to go to a soccer tournament in Bloemfontein in 2 weeks' time.  This afternoon was his "debut match" with this team he is now part of, in preparation for the tournament.  I wanted to watch since these boys have welcomed him with great enthusiasm and warmth. 
So I tell my beloved TomTom where I want to go after searching for it under Schools in the Points of Interest section.  I have never been to the school they played against.   Tommy lists the school quickly and off we go.  

I know the area more or less, just need to pinpoint relevant school.  I head off and start going through a small industrial area, which is fine as it is around there somewhere.  Then the TomTom indicates that little chequered "you are close" flag and starts showing that I am 120m from the school.  She (who does the speaking for him) then announces in her stiff upper lip voice, "you have reached your destination on the right".  Yeah right.  On my right is an engineering company.  Next to it a bathroom manufacturer and so on and so on.  I check on the left in case I am confusing the two sides .... ditto for industrial.  "Great move", I say to Tommy.  He winks, very impressed at having taken me to .... where the hell am I?.  I go on a few blocks and then u-turn and come back in case he is confused.  120m down the road Madame announces "you have reached your destination on the left" .... which is the same right as earlier.  

I stop next to a pedestrian .... he tells me I must follow the road past the station and go on for 3 blocks.  Great, but now the station is on the other side of the bridge ..... how did you miss that one Tommy my boy?  I do as told and am delighted to see a "schoolchildren crossing" sign.  I arrive at the school and circle the block twice.  Nowhere do I see a soccer field or our team's jerseys.  So I make my 2nd enquiry .... as some kids come out the school I ask them where their soccer field is.  "We don't play here", he politely tells me, "Go back to the main road and follow it past the primary school and the field is on the left".  I thank him, mutter under my breath as I have probably missed about 20 mins by now, and head off AGAIN.  I refuse to make eye contact with Tommy TomTom and he has worked out by now that best he and Madame the Speaker, shutup. 

Down the main road I go, past the primary school and there on the left is a huge sports field.  A huge, empty sports field.  I start looking around for a Liquor City as I feel the need for some shooters.  I call 2 people I know at my son's school and eventually am told to just carry on down the road and keep looking left.  I do so, whilst still looking for any store with the word Liquor in it's name. 

I see the fields, I see our blue and gold jerseys.  I park and do a Usain Bolt sprint to the field.  Not long after I see my boy score his "debut goal" for this team, with his left foot nogal.  His new teammates go crazy, to put it mildly.  And I was there to see it. 

After the match I get into my car, look at Tommy and tell him I still love him, we all make mistakes after all.  



Till next time
c'est la vie xxxxx


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