Frustration, anger, nightmares and hope

This week has been trying, to say the least.  I have behind me a very busy last week at work, 3 nights of terrible nightmares ... covering all kinds of bizarre things, they have haunted me right until I wake up.  I dragged myself through today with a searing headache that gripped me the minute I opened my eyes this morning.  Add a pounding heart from the headache meds and my day was anything but fun.  

I drove home in absolute turmoil today.  Anger and frustration. Tiredness. 

Anxiety.  It has me in it's grip. 

I do not have to wonder if this is it, I absolutely know - anxiety brings the headaches, but a sure sign is the nightmares - I have walked this road before. 

Is it not amazing how our bodies react - the renowned fight or flight reaction.  How we allow the things in our lives, often not from our own doing, but many that we do by choice, to grip us and throttle us physically. 

It becomes a rolling ball of stress, pressure, work, anxiety, anxiety and yes, anxiety. 

I find solace across the road ... twenty steps from my office, in the Adoration chapel, where I found myself on Monday, asking God to just let me hang on by my fingertips for a little longer.  I wore the newly washed carpet even thinner with my pacing in the front - God must have felt like he was watching a tennis match. 

I have to remind myself that life is ebb and flow ...... and sometimes it feels like it is just a thunderous crash of waves. 

But I wait.  Because I know this too shall pass, or I shall have to make decisions that make it pass. 

And I wait in Faith.  because I have no choice. 

till soon 
c'est la vie 


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