Men vs Women

Women always carry their handbags around - how the hell do men cope without a bag?  Eug says that if he ever goes on Survivor where you can take only one thing with you, he will opt for my handbag.  You can survive 237 days on an island with the contents of my handbag ...... when I do the monthly tip out and swop to another bag even I am stunned by what I find ...... last month I found a cash slip .... which did not belong to me ..... I have never been to that store.  And one tired and very sad looking little apple.  

Women never have anything to wear - trust me if you have an 18 year old daughter you will identify with this.  Now it is not because she opens her wardrobe and there are 50 empty hangers.  So I am stunned if she goes out on the weekend and I pop into her room while she gets ready, to find half the wardrobe contents on the bed while she says in great despair "I have nothing to wear".  Only a fool would at that stage say "look at all these clothes".  You don't want the death stare .... trust me. 

If a man goes on a seven day trip, he’ll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven day trip she’ll pack 21 outfits because she doesn’t know what she’ll feel like wearing each day.  I call that extremely good planning.  My husband has another way of describing it .... but this is a family blog :)

Men do not decorate their penmanship.  Or do anything fancy.  Or weird.  They just write.  Bit like chicken scrawl.  Women on the other hand like coloured stationery, they dot their i's with a circle and use big looped letters.  It is painful that even in a "Dear John" letter a women will put a smiley face at the end.  Those of you who know my handwriting will be laughing now ... I am the queen of loopy writing, circle i's and coloured pens and stationery.  

A woman runs her job, her charity work, her life and in addition the lives of her children.  She knows every dentist and doctor's appointment, their social calenders and the dates and times of all their soccer and hockey games.  She knows the names of their best friends, their favourite foods and their secret fears.  In many homes men are simply aware that there are some short people living in the house.  This one does not apply to Eug, he is the master of involvement in their lives xx 

When a woman gets to menopause she goes through all kinds of weird emotional, biological and mind changes.  Menopause in a man creates a simple reaction ... he buys Ray Ban aviators, a peak cap and a Porsche and says "babe" a lot. 

Women usually look very nice when they wear jewellery.  Men can wear a ring, a bracelet/s, those rubber bangles for causes and chains.  Any more than that and they tend to look a bit like a lounge singer named Vic. 

Women and bathrooms ... it's a social thing.  Women go to bathrooms in packs, at least two women will leave the table at the same time to go.  And if one gets up, another is likely to say I will join you. Men use bathrooms for biological reasons.  No conversation needed.  Never in the history of the world has one man excused himself and then turned to his mate and said "Hey George, I am going for a leak, want to join me?". 

and just because it made me laugh ....

After the party, as the couple was driving home, the woman asks her husband, 
"Honey, has anyone ever told you how handsome, sexy and irresistible to women
 you are?"The flattered husband said, "No, dear they haven't."
The wife yells, "Then what the heck gave you THAT idea at the party tonight?"

till next time 
c'est la vie xxxx

p.s. to all the guys out there ..... we wouldn't swop you for the world ..... 

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