whispering goodbye

So I went to a funeral today with the kids.  My best friend, Elm's, dad passed away.  We all seemed to be stuck somewhere between being really sad that he had passed away and really glad that he no longer had to suffer.  With cancer spreading rapidly through his body, unable and unwilling to eat, unable to walk, staying in a step down and losing weight rapidly, it was sad to visit him and see him as a shadow of his former self.  So God decided it was time to relieve him of this pain.  As sad as it is for those that stay behind, God always has the best plans. 

Whilst I was standing in front doing the thank you's on behalf of the family at the end of the service, I told them of the last time I had seen William ...... he was in hospital and when I arrived he said to Elm, "you should have told me that Karin was coming and I would have combed my hair".  He immediately asked them to pass him a comb and little mirror and combed his sparse grey hair over to the one side.  "Do I look ok now?", he asked me.  "Oh be still my heart", I said, clutching my chest, "you look just as debonair as Shaun Connery".  He gave a big smile and said to Elm, "did you hear, she says I look like Shaun Connery".  It was the last time I ever spoke to him.  And I am happy, because the relationship between him and I was finalised with a huge smile, a laugh and a brief happy moment .... and that is all I want. 

It made me think of what legacy we leave behind and what memories people have of us.  Elm and my kids were amused to tell the family last week that when I die one day, people will be asked to dress colourfully, my coffin will personally have glitter put on by them and it will be a colourful time celebrating my life.  That is exactly what I would want.  Just make sure you serve cappuccinos. 

We remembered fondly over tea afterwards what a gentleman he had always been.  Whenever we had visited at Elm he always chatted to me about what I was doing, what the kids were doing and how hard Eug was working.  He was happy to sit quietly to one side with his wife, Hettie, and listen to the rest of us .... and wow we are a loud, crazy, laughing bunch when our 2 families have one of our frequent visits. 

The 2 Reverends came to me afterwards and asked me if I was a schoolteacher.  When I told them what I actually do as a job, the one commented that I am obviously quite comfortable and used to speaking in front of groups of people.  I am .... I am as comfortable one on one as I am to talk to a room of 200.  It made me happy to think I could have made this little contribution to this special day. 

So rest in peace William, we will always keep a corner of our hearts for you. 

till next time,
c'est la vie xxx